You’re young and lost, but there are certain principles that you have ingrained into your soul from witnessing nonsense; as a result, you create your own set of rules for survival and stick by them. One of those seems relatively “common sense” to me: never lay your hands on a woman – other than via the (positive) bonds of intimacy. There are a few things that really piss me off and a grown man hitting a woman out of frustration is something that just shouldn’t happen. Walk away if you are that angry. This single act of walking away takes very little effort. Rocky, this one is for you!
I recall an event prior to my 21st birthday; it was a day like any other – dealing with inebriated patrons at the bar. I finally have a chance to take a break to catch a bite, and what do I see? A 200+ pound grown man handling a woman in a manner that is just unacceptable. Now one would figure with the 30+ other people sitting in this bar watching this scene unfold at least someone would say something. Not a damn one. That attitude is not uncommon; it’s not their business, so why get involved as another person is being abused in such a manner. I remember standing up when the woman walks outside, only to be followed by her abuser; the woman was visibly upset. Without hesitating, I followed the “couple” outside and, speaking only to the woman, asked if she were okay, knowing the answer I would receive would be in the affirmative even though that clearly was not the case. I also knew full well there was going to be one of two outcomes from this situation: harm to me or potential death. Redirecting the abuser’s anger towards me instead of her was the goal and I succeeded.
So I start walking towards this man, one who easily outweighed me; the only advantage I had on him was I was sober, smaller, and faster, so Mohammed Ali’s theme was ringing in my head, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.” As we approach one another, it was clear this was a man on a mission; I was focused, but also scared shitless. Just before we met here comes Rocky (retired Vietnam veteran mentioned in previous blogs) flying out of the door; he intervenes, tells me, “I got you,” and orders me to leave the scene. This was a man with the biggest heart one could ever have; I still miss him. I never did find out what happened to the abuser, but knowing someone had my back when I least expected meant more to me than any amount of money.
Well, after that day I never saw that guy again; at least the story had a positive outcome in that the woman left her abuser. To this day I still think about that single moment, and I still see her smile every so often. Every time I see a news story about abuse, I remember this event. No one and I mean no one, male or female, should be abused – and especially in such a way that they feel like they are nothing. So, for those individuals who feel it is their prerogative to abuse their partner, walk away. Go for a run or something.
See you in the next post!