So, some nights I do not get enough to sleep or get to bed as early I would like and it’s usually because I read something or saw something that struck a cord and I just need to talk about it. It’s usually me talking to myself trying to make sense of things out loud or rambling on and on to my wife. In all actuality I really want to kayak, jet ski, swim, or a similar outdoor activity, but when that clock is blaring the numbers 2:00 am and knowing as soon as I fall asleep my eyes will be opening 2 to 4 hours later I tend to just write instead. Plus my wife is not all that happy when I wake her up at 2 a.m. to ramble about a topic that interests me.
So, let’s talk about breaking the cycle, a theme I will use in subsequent blog posts, too. I have long been considered an “outcast,” a term I have heard many times in my life. I feel like that song from STAIND (Outside.) It’s taken me a long time to face this fact, face myself and actually start embracing it. Let’s face it; a lot of individuals in all practicality do not like it when someone can see their true intentions or, more importantly, when you yourself take a deep hard look inside yourself as well. For example, I am paid to be observant, and to watch for certain things; I am good at it – and I enjoy it. No, I’m not a secret agent, so relax. I am learning to understand that this is a gift; unfortunately, it occasionally becomes a gift that others misunderstand. After all, and this not to “toot my horn,” but I tend to observe elements that many miss.
Go figure…My wife likes telling me my work style is more than what is expected in normal society. I prefer to not only fulfill my job responsibilities, but exceed them. Observation skills are innate for me, and yet that occasionally tends to irritate others. We each have different learning styles, different perceptions of the world around us, and therefore, often quite diverse interpretations of instructions or tasks. All too often, it seems (and this is my perspective), those who reach a certain level in society, social standing, or a given profession have been known to forget this. After all, in our modern world, despite the ability of free speech in the United States, we are not supposed to question anything or anyone in a position of authority. For example, I once overheard a submarine captain berate a fellow submariner for a task that he had asked the submariner to complete, when, in fact, the submariner had used his rank to have someone else complete the assigned task. So, this leads into “playing the game,” a phrase we all probably know too well. You better believe in a hot second and I mean everything in a second without question will become a nightmare for you if you do not play the game. As I have stated, I have learned this the hard way. One, I had to, and two because that was my personality and my way of learning this great game we call life. This should not be the case for the rest of those who may be at a crossroads of change.
See you in the next post!